There will be profanity and I'm writing off the cuff on this one with blatent disregard for who's reading, so proceed at your own risk.
The boys were late to school this morning. Again.
WTF is wrong with me? BFF and I had a therapy session last night in which we both had to vow to do one thing for ourselves today... one thing done out of self love to make us better people. If you had to do this what would you choose?
Well, I fell asleep last night after deciding that my one thing would be concentrating on getting up earlier in the morning so that our household could be more laid back. I set my alarm for 6 a.m. and at six this morning it went off and you know what I did? I turned the sonofabitch off and fell back asleep. I woke up an hour later freaking out and rushing to get dressed and whatnot and feeling like I am a total failure at this shit because no matter what I think I'm going to do when it comes to time, the clock ALWAYS beats me and I know it's my own fault, but I just never seem to be able to win, no matter how strong my resolve.
So, now Big Kid has to miss his morning recess tomorrow. He's had 4 tardies and that's the punishment for 4 tardies... which makes no f-cking sense to me because how in the hell does a 7 year old child have any control over what time he gets to school everyday? He doesn't. There's no explanation for this stupid ass rule that is in the handbook therefore the "law of the land."
I called the principal and told her that I was not okay with him being punished for something that was not his fault and she said that it wasn't punishment. But, when he got in trouble two weeks ago for misbehaving in class, he had to miss his morning recess and it was punishment then. So, what's the difference? She said that it would, "just be some quiet time for he and her to discuss some things that could help him get to school on time."
Like what? Well, getting his stuff together at night, lying his clothes out, [is that lying right?] getting to bed on time and out of bed early enough in the morning, etc. I explained to her that these were things that my child already does and he doesn't need for someone to "talk about it" with him. It's not his f-cking fault that he's late. It's mine. All mine.
Big Kid gets in the car every single morning calculating the minutes, in a way too OCD manner, to determine whether or not we will be late. It's sad. It breaks my heart to show up late with him and it's never more than a minute or two, but all the same, he's freaked out about it and I have repeatedly failed him. Now those stupid asses that call themselves experts about children are going to punish him for something that is completely out of his control. It's totally F-CKED up. SERIOUSLY.
So, I found out what time he'll be missing recess and I'm going to take donuts to the school to eat with him while he's sitting inside and I told the principal I'd be doing so. She said that she couldn't stop me. Damn right she can't stop me. This is total bullshit and I'm pissed about it and I haven't even broached the subject with Mr. AFRo because my tardiness is the source of all that is wrong in the world of AFRo... all the time. He's going to be furious with me and I don't even think I can tolerate one sentence out of his mouth on the subject. He doesn't get that it's something that I already beat myself up over daily.
While the principal had me on the phone she felt that she should mention that BK would be getting a note home today because they are having problems with him being "fidgety" in class. That he just won't "sit still."
GET THE FUCK OVER IT. HE IS A LITTLE BOY. I am so fucking sick of my children's teachers making mention of problems they are having that derive from my children acting like what they are... BOYS. SERIOUSLY. I am fed up with the shit. I'm almost to the point that I'm ready to quit my fucking job and home school them. I can't take it anymore. I'm going to end up letting AFRo loose on these people. I am SICK of it. SICK TO FUCKING DEATH of it.
That is all I have time to say at the moment and my head feels like it's going to explode. I'll be back. Bitches.
*Now I'm crying about this shit. I'm so pissed off at myself.*
© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Rated M: For Mature Audiences Only
Posted by AFRo at 3:10 PM
Labels: Don't test me. These are my children., I have issues.
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20 comments:
Just chalk it up to another stupid rule at the school. Life is hard sometimes and you have to break the rules!
That sucks!!! I like how you are making it right for your boy...letting him know that he shouldn't get flak for things out of his control. You are standing up for him and standing by him at the same time.
Ok. Your kids' school is making ME mad, too. You can't punish a 7 year old for showing up late to school! Excuse me? He can't drive himself there! All the punishment is doing is making him think, "My mom got me into trouble and I HATE HER," not "Gee whiz, I need to lay my clothes out the night before." What idiotic teachers!
The ONLY time that punishment would be acceptable is if you went to the principle and said, "Look. I can't get my kid out of bed. He fights me and we're always late. Can you help me with this?" That's not the problem. You admitted, "It's me that's running late. Don't punish my kid," and they do it anyway? Un-uh. Not cool.
Fight it. Take the donuts in (brilliant idea, btw) and tell your son he didn't do anything wrong. I'd tell the principle that you are disgusted with her blanket rules and will take it to the school board. (She's got a boss, too.) Talk to a few other moms, and you'll probably find other feed up parents. Join forces and bitch. Loudly.
:) Deep breath. Geesh, this was a long comment, huh? You got me all fired up. :)
I agree I think I hate your school too.
It would be one thing if he was walking to school and there late. But the fact that you have called and said that it was your fault He should NOT be punished. I think the Donuts is a great idea.
I have wiggly boys too. My oldest NEVER sits on his pockets. He kind of kneels with one leg on the chair and one on the floor. His teachers have all said that as long as he does his work and doesn't bother the kids around him it is al right.
I think you school needs to hand out the prozac to the staff and the all need to step back and take a breath.
If you need and back up when you go AFRO I think you would have LOTS of back up.
Good LUCK.
I am so pissed at your school. Who the hell do they think they are to punish BK for something he has no control over?
Instead of punishment they should be figuring out ways to help him not hurt him and make him feel worse.
Don't beat yourself up over this, it happens to all of us at one time or another.
Ok I have all of two seconds to comment...don't worry I'll be back.
So, AFRo-we are totally twins. I could have written this post, except my mother would kill me if I typed fuck. (ooooh that was kind of fun).
Seriously, I get the whole punishment thing for stuff we as parents do - my daughter was supposed to have some dumb note signed by me (of which I wasn't told by the TEACHER) then because I didn't sign it, my daughter missed recess. That system is messed up.
I think it's awesome that you took donuts to the BK! I have a couple 'ocd' kids too so I hear your pain on that one too!
Sorry your day sucked.
Oh Afro..I seriously wish I lived near you because if I did I would run right over, hand you a glass of wine and give you a big ol hug!! You are under a tremendous amount of stress and you have to give your self a break. You are doing the best that you can and sometimes you just need to "let go" of all of the stupid rules. So what? He's late to school...is the world going to end? No! Forgive yourself and tell yourself it doesn't mstter. You know you are doing the best you can and that is all that matters. Big hugs!!!
Dude. Know what has happened to us two mornings this week? On Monday I did exactly what you did...E.B. was an hour late. This morning I swear to frog the alarm didn't go off, but we woke up at 8:45!!! By the time we got dressed, I just let him stay home...it was almost 10 AM and he only stays until 11:30 everyday, so he got to skip school today. I felt like a deadbeat mom. Maybe we need to make a pact to call each other at 6 AM every morning? Anyhoo...I have 3 people calling me tomorrow morning making sure my hindparts are out of bed at 6 AM.
((hugs)) Weird that we have both gone through the same crap this week and it's not even Wednesday.
But yes, I totally agree the school policy royally sucks. Enjoy your donuts tomorrow. I'm sure that's more fun than recess any old day.
I understand why schools have these policies, but it really isn't fair to the child when they have no control over their parents. Maybe the school should have a policy of punishing the parents for tardiness? Like making them volunteer a half-hour in the cafeteria for every so many days that they bring their child to school late. Or instead of giving the child a lecture on ways to get to school on time, make the parents attend a "Getting Your Kids to School on Time" seminar after so many tardies. I'm sure you'd rather be punished than let your child be punished, right?
As for the fidgetiness (is that a word?), you should get your pediatrician to wite a note to the school letting them know that BK has been diagnosed with B.O.Y., and his recommended course of action is for them to CHILL THE FUCK OUT. It would be cool if he could write that on one of his Rx sheets for them.
Don't beat yourself up. I am not a morning person and it's rubbing off on my son. I push snooze all the time.
And? Last week I woke him up Monday and did the whole getting ready thing. He'd told me over the weekend that he didn't have school and I said, "nice try kid."
Turns out? He was right. School was closed for Thanksgiving. I forgot an entire week of vacation.
Well now I feel bad for complaining. I'm an asshat. Thanks for the kick in the rear, you are the only person who knows exactly what I need. This is why I love you.
I truly don't understand the schools issue. Four freaking tardies and HE misses recess? Yeah, okay.
I totally agree with the homeschooling but I would personally not be able to hack it. The principal sounds like an asshat too. Make sure you don't handout Christmas gifts.
In regard to the posting thing, you are more than welcome to use my blog as your venue.
And I really think you should AFRo loose, put those bee-otches in their place.
Oh, and I apologize for the hounding, I wasn't trying to force you out of hiding. Just making sure you were okay. Take care hon.
Oh, wait, one more. I have free, unlimited calling to the US. Do you need an international wake up call?
Relax. Breathe in breathe out.
Don't get all crazy over shit like this. Here's an idea,,,,put your alarm clock on the other side of the room. Now you have to get out of bed to turn it off. Worked for me.
#1
Working for a school, I just have to reiterate how absolutely WRONG it is to punish an elementary kid for being tardy. Do we give the high school kids detention, of course, they can get their sorry butts to school on time.
A seven year old who's parent drives him? Hell NO!
Just a suggestion from the bus lady here. Is there a bus he can catch. I don't know where you live but almost all our kids are picked up door to door. That way you know he'll always be there on time.
Don't feel bad about writing a post about how you feel, even if it does have bad words.
Write what you need to write in order to express how you really feel.
I make it a point to put the alarm clock across the room where you have to get up and turn it off. That way, since you are already up...
it's what helps me.
Um I guess he could get into the car drive himself to school to get there on time? other than that how the hell can he control what time he gets there, that is if he is doing what he is suppose to in the morning.
I feel your pain the morning thing because I too am a slacker and hate to get up early therfor I get up later than we should and we have to rush and rush and most mornings I am in a bad mood when we walk out the door.
(((((hugs))))) because, Girl, you need them!! I agree it is a stupid rule to hold children responsible for their parents. It's not like he can do anything to get to school quicker! Sheesh! I have no words of wisdom...only hugs and open ears.
Ohhh I've missed so much.
I once received an award for never being late to school. After the ceremony my previous teacher stopped me to congratulate and "pick her mouth up off the floor" she said I had been late ALL the time for her class and yay me for getting to school on time.
Are these people on crack? At what point do adults start forgetting that kids do not get themselves ready and bring themselves to school? I should have brought that award home and handed it straight to my mother!
Don't be so hard on yourself! You guys will work through it. I would much rather be dealing with tardiness as a hot topic in my family than say....infidelity. So you've got a leg up on those people.
Also when I'm feeling really down I start thinking about the starving children in Africa...which actually is NOT a great idea because than you'll just start feeling all bad about them too. Nevermind that last part.
Chin up girl.
First of all, I follow your blog -- I'm a blog follower--- so I'm sorry this comment is so late.
I agree with you about the school and PRINCIPAL being a stupid bitch. Why punish the child(ren) for things that are out of their control???
Above all you should know you are not alone in your struggle with the clock; or the internal struggle you face in beating it... or in beating yourself up. I do it every morning. I sincerely can't remember the last time I was on time, or early (ha ha), to work.
Feels good to know that there is another Mom who is as hard on herself as I am.
OMG- this is like a look into the future when my kids start school. I'm late all the time and I hate myself for it, but can't change it and don't know why. I try, but I also turn off alarm clocks and mis judge driving times and ... sigh
The school sucks for punishing your son. It's so wrong.
I'm so sorry!!
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