Dear Dog the Bounty Hunter,

Congratulations on making national news tonight in the search for the guy that's on the loose in Mexico. Mainstream media is really a step up for you and a miracle after that whole self discovery that you were not black and all.

Mr. Dog, I really need to know what the deal is with that hairstyle of yours though. I mean seriously, it is not cool to sport the same exact hairdo as your wife. Not to imply that you are old or anything, but most men your age understand that you will never get the respect you deserve by trying to mimic a lead singer from the 80's. *Cough*Bret Michaels*Cough*

Also, men who wear earrings do not usually wear the long dangle type. A diamond stud is acceptable in some parts of society, but I'm pretty sure that wearing an Indian dream catcher as an earring is NOT cool anywhere in the world. Doesn't that thing get hung up in that mane of yours? Aren't you scared it could be a work hazard if you're taking some dude down and it gets caught up somehow.... you could seriously be hurt.

I'm very glad to see that you are exercising proper tanning bed precautions by wearing your goggles whilst soaking up the rays. But, if you were doing it correctly, I wouldn't be able to tell you were hitting up the tanning salon at all. Check out the facial moisturizers that contain a dab of self tanner. This should help with the raccoon problem you seem to be having that certainly does not flatter the bags that you've developed from the late night tips.

Last but not least, I see that most of the time you enjoy wearing a half buttoned shirt so that you can show off that manly chest of yours. FYI, we don't really care too much about seeing it. I know it gets hot down there in Hawaii and all, but you should really look into buying some nice ringer tees or something cotton that will help with airflow as well as provide adequate coverage for those awesome pecks you've got.

I wish you all the best Mr. Dog and I hope that you will take my suggestions to heart because you do an awesome job of hunting people down and I want to make sure you do it in style. Especially if you're going to be doing appearances on networks that people actually watch. Please let me know if you need anymore pointers and I'll be happy to help.

Sincerely,
AFRo



© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

The Move & Comment Slackers

I'm all sick and whatnot today and had just finished writing four long strongly worded paragraphs to you guys about the lack of commenting since my move. However, I somehow managed to erase those paragraphs and I'm too tired to try to write them again.

So, to sum it all up for you, if you have read my blog at any point in the last three days and have not left one single word. You suck.

I think I've caught the plague. Feeling pretty crappy. Nyquil here I come.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Needed: 1 Valentine Party, 1 Missing Dog & 1 Birthday Present Idea

Please try to stay with me on this one... I'm headed in several directions and I need to restore order in my brain. Also, where your thoughts are requested please try to help... especially where the Valentine things are concerned.

First of all, I am a "Homeroom Mom." This title really means nothing more than I have to plan really cute parties for all of the holidays throughout the year and try to come off like I did it with little to no stress. Valentine's is actually the first one that I have thought of this far ahead of time. (Oh crap. I'm not even going to be in town that day... worry about that later.) ANYWAY, I always send notes home in the "parent folders" that go home on Monday. The notes basically just tell the parent what they need to bring for the party.

At Christmas, I did a totally awesome game ... the reindeer antlers made of balloons and little girls' pantyhose. (THANK YOU COREY AND DESTIN) I was beyond a shadow of a doubt THE coolest mom in the whole school because other moms' were coming out of their children's classrooms to check this out. But, how do I top that for a game?

We decorated cupcakes for the Halloween and Christmas Parties. These are 4 & 5 year old kids though and they LOVE that. Except for this one kid that refuses to eat cupcakes, or icing, or M&M's, or Cheetos or anything that I have for the snacks. Seriously.

So, I'm pretty clueless here. For some reason every time I try to come up with something, I just draw a blank. But, I've got to do it now because I've got to send the damn notes home this coming Monday. The party is at 11:00 a.m. on Valentine's Day and I really would like to get something into my kid that is not junk food for a change. Suggestions NEEDED here.

I also need some sort of activity that I can assign another mom to do for the last 15 minutes of the party to keep the kids entertained. Should we exchange Valentine cards? If so, how can I make this more fun than just dropping cards off to each other. SUGGESTIONS NEEDED AGAIN.

Totally changing subjects now... Our dog has been disappearing for weeks at a time since Christmas Day. He shows up once a week to eat then leaves again and after he's been gone about 4 days I start to worry obsessively. He's a lab and the boys love him as much as he appears to love them, but his absence is no longer excusable. I'm pretty pissed that he has the audacity to disappear for the 4th week in a row. I just bought that sucker a 40 lb. bag of food so we are committed for at least the next 3 weeks.

He is not "fixed" which I know makes me a terrible person, but we've only had him for a year and I've always felt like we did our service to society by adopting him. So, I want to know if getting him fixed is actually going to stop this behavior. Anyone who can attest one way or another on this, I'd appreciate it. Even though we're poor and can't really afford to have him fixed anyway.

Okay, if you've got time to just surf for a minute and you obviously do if you're still reading this post. YOU HAVE GOT to go and read THIS BLOG by one of my fave bloggers about a troll that's been harassing folks over on her blog. Ashley totally bitch slaps this girl and it is BEE-utiful. I had to share it with ya'll. I am seriously still speechless over what happened there today.

Everyone in my house is developing some type of cold. Sinus/sore throat/dry cough nastiness that is no doubt a direct result of the crappy weather we're having here in the Dirty D. It sucks though. The little husband went to bed at 7 tonight... seriously. His feeling bad apparently trumps mine. Whatever. The kids have been on meds since their doctor visit Sunday, but it doesn't seem to be helping.

I filed 4 tax returns today. One was my own. I don't really want to talk about that though... not even with the little husband. We'll deal with that another day.

Last on the list of things to think about. The little husband's birthday is the day after V-day. In case you missed the fact that my youngest son was born exactly 9 months and 4 days after V-day, I decided it's best to celebrate these two holidays in a subtle fashion for the rest of my life. I need birthday present ideas for him though. Last year I got him an awesome robe from Lands End with his initials on it. I'm drawing a blank for good ideas this year. Help.

I suppose that's where I'll stop tonight. Hopefully the Tylenol PM will kick in soon.

Don't forget to subscribe to my email list in the right corner up there before you navigate away and as soon as I figure out what the hell RSS is, I'll add that for you to do too. Thank you very much.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

No He Didn't

Did anyone watch the State of the Union address tonight? I for one did not, but I did catch a glimpse of his spill on the No Child Left Behind Act. Let me quote Mr. Bush:

"Six years ago we came together to pass the No Child Left Behind Act and today no one can deny its results. Last year 4th and 8th graders achieved the highest mass scores on record; reading scores are on the rise, African American and Hispanic students posted all time highs. Now we must work together to increase accountability; add flexibility for states and districts, reduce the number of high school dropouts, provide extra help for struggling schools. Members of Congress, the No Child Left Behind Act is a bipartisan achievement. It is succeeding and we owe it to America's children, their parents and their teachers to strengthen this good law."

Are you kidding me? Big friggin whoop that it was some kind of fru fru political get together. It appears, at least in this part of the country, to be a big huge failure that has motivated teachers and children to do nothing more than pass tests. Here we go again... you've heard it from me once, and my comments will very closely follow my previous blog, but I'm all in favor of another heated debate on the topic because you guys know how I love political discussion when we can do it in a civilized manner. However, my two cents get to be first since I am the blogger.

Sidenote: I am all for what this Act has done for children with learning disabilities. It does give them fast access to the tools they need to excel to their capabilities and sometimes beyond what they could've dreamed of years ago. For that, the Act has done some good.

However, for the rest of America's children it has done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but contribute to the dumbing down of our society as a whole. Learning based on testing is nothing more than memorization to get by and perform up to par for the school to get its yearly funding. Learning? I don't believe it exists in at least half of our nation's public schools. At least not in the same way it did when I came through the public school system.

The statistics are appalling in regards to high school proficiency levels in reading and writing among other subjects. It's downright sad that we've set the bar so low that even the stupidest child can pass through unscathed and unquestioned. No one thought about the smartest child who could do more if that bar were raised a bit. What about that kid? Who's pushing him?

God only knows it's not his teacher because she's entirely too busy trying to dig herself out from under the mound of paperwork that the NCLBA has buried her in or tending to a child that has no business being in her classroom in the first place. EVERYONE is suffering as a result of this Act... or at least everyone in my small blip of the country.

Our teachers are suffering and bailing out right and left. Our children are suffering because they are not receiving a quality education due to the curriculum that dictates they be ready to pass the tests... and nothing more. Our parents are suffering because...where I live... public school is no longer an option, at least if you can afford for it not to be.

It makes me sick because this will be the last year that my husband and I can get a tax break for our kid's tuition. Once they're out of kindergarten you're on your own. The government could care less about what a disaster the public school system is here. I'm paying taxes for a service that we will NEVER be able to take advantage of and I cannot use those tax dollars to send MY children to school.

I swear, the more I hear from both the Democrats and the Republicans this year, the more terrifying our future actually looks. Seriously. The first one to say that I can keep that money instead of paying double for my children's education will receive my vote, because people, I VOTE ISSUES, not party lines.

Please notice the email subscription box in the upper right hand corner of my blog and act appropriately on it please. Comment and subscribe before navigating away. Feel free to rant as needed, but you must keep it clean people.


© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

This One's For the Girls

Yes I've been absent for close to a week now but I truly did not have much to say. Can you believe that? I've actually had a lot to talk about, but I'm sworn to secrecy on 98% of it so I thought it best to avoid blogging. I don't really have much to say now, but I do have a rant. To the three gentlemen readers that I know visit regularly, I'm warning you that you may want to stop here. This is a rant that's not really meant for mixed company, but you may proceed at your own risk.

I am mad. Mad at the MF world. Why? Good question. One that I wish I could answer. But I SWEAR, I'm pissed off at the world over here. It happens about once a month. Seriously, am I normal? Is it normal to want to hit your husband with a baseball bat just because he farted? That thought crossed my mind about 30 seconds ago. SERIOUSLY.

I mean RAGE here people. Anyone out there understand this? Earlier I threatened to have a cashier at Pizza Hut fired because I left my MF coupon at work and she wanted to charge me $10 more than what I was willing to pay. When I left, I WANTED to run over the dumbass who decided it would be okay to walk slowly behind my car wearing all black. DUMBASS... he had no idea what kind of a crazy person he was messing with. I only refrained because I thought it might be traumatic for the kids to see.

Before Pizza Hut we went to that horrid mass merchandising place that I hate. Okay, today is not the first of the month... that's not until Friday. So WTF was up with all the rude jackasses that move at a pace that implies the world revolves around them. I mean HELL-O I am dragging two kids and a basket loaded down with dog food and various other heavy items and DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE ALL NIGHT TO GET TO THE FRIGGIN PRODUCE?!?!?! Just move the hell over and let us pass... or better yet, make that little mini you move. A little friggin respect for others. Is that too much? Again, had the kids not been there, it would've been brutal.

I mean for real, I am not a fighter for those of you who may have missed this in a previous post. I am a true Delta Belle. I will simply spit at you. Then hey, I didn't throw the first punch right? (I've never actually tested this theory and probably don't have the balls to, but it sounds good and gives the dramatic effect I'm looking for here.)

I really could go on and on here about the horrible crap that has happened to me since last Tuesday, but you would all get too bored reading and you'd never come back to visit me again. So, please leave me some sweet comments that relate to my situation and I'll try to look on the bright side... I'm not pregnant.

After you comment and before you leave: Please notice the email subscription box that I've added on the upper right hand corner and act accordingly. Thanks.

Edited to Add: Thank Goodness for this chocolate/whip cream concoction that my aunt made for our late Christmas this last weekend. I got a huge plate of it to bring home with me and I am planning to eat it all. Tonight. Goodness.


© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Live and Learn

You know, I've always been an advocate of lifelong learning. This does not imply that one should go to school their entire life, but should try to pick up at least one new piece of information everyday. Any kind of information will do because you never can tell when that tidbit may be something that you need to know.

As much as I fuss about the training that I'm sent to for work, I'm actually pretty grateful to be learning something that I would otherwise have no clue about. I also believe that no one is ever too old to be taught something new... contrary to the popular saying, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks."

Anyway, my point in all of this was really to say that this blogspot thing is much more complicated than I ever anticipated. So, I'm glad you guys are sticking with me and as soon as I figure out how you can subscribe, I will let you know. In the meantime, just add my site to your favorites list and visit me at least once a day since I KNOW you guys think about me all the time!

I am learning new things about blogging and html and all kinds of other computer savvy sounding stuff like that. However, due to the abundance of knowledge that I've had to store in the last week that came from other areas of life, my brain is currently out of room and flashing... "NO VACANCIES." Hopefully I'll get this blog the way I want it soon, but please don't hold your breath.

Anyone who can lend me words of advice on how to set up an email subscription list, I'd be forever grateful. I'd also like to learn a bit about the RSS feed thing, but I'm totally confused at this point just trying to wade through the info I've gotten on it... think I'm going to see if Chris can help out there...

I wish there was something cool or even slightly amusing for me to share with you guys tonight, but there's just not.... Sorry. Also, I haven't received any blog topic requests in over 6 weeks. These used to be at least a once a week occurrence and I would appreciate it if you'd begin that again. They always helped to fill in the blank spots on uneventful days... Thank goodness for UNeventful days!!! Anyone feel me on that?

Goodnight to you all. I'm going to bed a little early.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Stimulating Senate

I swear if the Senate decides to put more money into Food Stamps or extending unemployment benefits as part of it's economic stimulus package I am going to 1.) completely stop paying taxes forever and 2.) move to Switzerland.

They want to evaluate this an option because it puts money into the hands of "people who will spend most of it." I wish I had the Senator's name that was on the news tonight promoting this plan...I am going in search of it and when I find out, I hope that you will all join me in boycotting his election campaign the next time his seat is up. SERIOUSLY.

Apparently one way or another, the package is coming to the tune of about $150 billion dollars. The question at this point is how are they going to put it out there and who will get it. So, prepare to be stimulated my friends.

Food Stamps. Are you kidding me?

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Back to Business

I am happy to report that I've made it home safe and sound from dorm life with the little sis. I had a blast with her and several of her sweet friends. Plus, I love that I got to experience where she is at and what she is doing and whom she's doing it with. I even slept on the top bunk last night.

Not that I doubt how much my little sis loves me, but because we're separated by almost 10 years in age, it makes me feel great to know that I'm still considered cool enough in her eyes to roll with them. I am sad to report that I didn't make it down there in enough time to catch the cool movie, so I'm still game for an invite all you chickadees that wanted to go!

I must share that she did not inform me until AFTER my arrival that it was community bathroom situation at her dorm. Which was very much a first for me and I must admit I was a bit pissed off upon learning this. However, showering was not as bad as I thought it would be... we did have a curtain and stalls, so I wasn't indecent. Thank goodness. I was nervous about all of that. Seriously.

Today was just work work work work work. I learned about IRA's this morning. Boring, but I'm one step closer to being a banker. Woo hoo. The afternoon was spent just driving and talking on the phone A LOT... trying to play catch up from being out of the office all day. I wish I could take tomorrow off because I'm really more exhausted than I expected to be, but alas, I don't think it's possible. Plus, I have to save all of my sick days for when the rugrats get their school bugs this year.

I will leave you guys with my one last boring banker buzz of the day... it was a monumental day in the stock market and if you missed it, I hope that you will google it and read up. History was made today and thank God because it was almost really bad.

Last but not least, I must say that I am heartbroken to learn of the loss of Heath Ledger today. I cannot really say more than that, it's just really a sad thing. He was only 28! My heart is certainly with his family and that two year old baby girl of his. Oh so sad!

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

I'm going down to Jackson...

Do you know the song? Yes. I'm a nerd. I've been singing it for the last hour whilst cleaning out the toy box at my home and hating that babysitter I fired all over again. That toy box was full of popcorn. Damn crappy babysitters. I'm almost through with that and the laundry. The laundry that's going to get done today anyway.

Did you guys know that today is not only in honor of Martin Luther King, but in MS, AR and AL it is a state holiday in honor of Robert E. Lee, commanding officer of the Confederate army? Seriously... read HERE. I will not allow any racial slurs here so please refrain, but am I the only person who finds this a bit F-ed up?

The AP story even refers to the fact that people still drive around with the confederate flag in their truck windows here. My goodness... we are never going to be taken seriously. I'm going to just stop here for fear of going into a rant that could somehow hurt my street cred.

Anyway, I am also packing for my excursion to Jackson tonight to stay with the little sis. I am sleeping in a dorm room. Don't really know exactly how I feel about this, but I'm hoping it will be fun. She's got big plans for dinner and a movie tonight. We're going to see that new 27 dresses movie. I think that's the name of it...I do know that I want to see it.

Tomorrow I have to be at the Marriott first thing in the morning to learn about IRA's because we all know that I am a banker in title only and still have a lot of stuff to learn on the subject. The seminar is over at noon though and I'm hoping to get a little shopping in before having to drive back to the dirty D.

So, if you don't hear from me between now and tomorrow night, wish me safe travels!

Edited to add: Snoop Dogg's Fatherhood is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. If you have not watched, please tune in. I've been cracking up for hours now. [in between cleaning of course]

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Penis or Taliwhacker?

I have only had one hit on my blog today. This is very discouraging. It appears that by moving my blog, I am completely starting over with my readership because all 100 subscribers that I used to have apparently do not miss me at all. What to do? I don't know.

The boys are outside playing all afternoon and having a great time. However, I have caught myself saying things to them this afternoon that are totally out of character for me. Case in point #1: You better go play with your animals are they are going to run away again like they did last weekend. Case in point #2: Take that balloon away from the dog! He will swallow it and die. Seriously, he will die.

I do not allow my kids to say die or kill. WTF? I am anal about that kind of stuff because well, I just don't think it sounds nice coming out of a child's mouth. Which reminds me of a story I did not share with ya'll a few months ago....

I came to pick them up at daycare and the youngest is telling me, "Mom, oldest got in trouble for saying a bad word today!" This makes me curious because oldest is usually the one who does NOT get in trouble and neither of them have ever been caught saying "bad words." So, I buckle them into their seatbelts and go back in to ask the daycare lady what he said.

The daycare lady is at least 60 years old and they call her Mrs. Sunshine. I've never really thought of her as spewing sunshine, but whatever. This is beside the point and she's really just an assistant. So, I ask Mrs. Sunshine about the offense in question and the conversation goes something like this:

Me: Mrs. Sunshine youngest said oldest got in trouble today for saying a bad word.

Sunshine: Oh yes. He did say a bad word and I put him in time out and he just argued and argued with me that it was NOT a bad word.

Me: Well, Mrs. Sunshine, what did he say?

Sunshine: (whispering where no one will hear and covering her mouth to make sure they cannot read her lips) Taliwhacker.

Me: (not doing too well suppressing my obvious shock and laughter) You sat him in time out for saying Taliwhacker? Is that a bad word?

Sunshine: Well, yes.

Me: That's what we call it at home. I don't think penis sounds very nice coming out of a 6 year old's mouth so we call it a Taliwhacker. Why is that bad?

Sunshine: (blushing fire) Well...um...I didn't know.

Me: I think you should apologize for punishing him because he has been taught to use that word and my goodness, I could understand if he said shit or damn or something but taliwhacker? Seriously? Are you kidding me?

Sunshine: Please keep your voice down. We don't say those things here.

Me: Okay, we'll discuss this another time. (thinking I'll speak with the daycare director when I get home) But, just so you know, they call a vagina a pollywolly and I don't want him punished for that either.

Sunshine: (Shocked and obviously speechless) We'll see ya'll tomorrow.

I have never! They punished my kid for saying taliwhacker! Goodness. They did apologize to oldest the next day and told him just not to say it too loud where other kids could hear. Whatever.

I have to get back to laundry and vacuum cleaner searching now. Hope you enjoyed my tidbit and just for kicks... if you don't feel funny about sharing, I'd like to know what other mom's refer to their children's penis as. Am I the only freak out there giving it a name?

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Needed: 1 Vacuum Cleaner

So, apparently our Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner is so old that they don't make belts for that model anymore and we have to special order it from the manufacturer. WTF?

I didn't think it was that old. But, when I think back to this time last year... we inherited this one from little husband's grandmother when she moved into the retirement home. Uh oh. It probably is old. It's been a good one though.

However, I think it's probably better that I just buy a new one at this point. It makes me sick to say because I don't know if I'm the only woman out there who's managed to go through over 4 vacuum cleaners in the last 5 years. Not cheap ones either... what am I doing wrong?

I need recommendations though. I don't want to waste money on another crap one that will die on me in about 9 months because who knows where I'll be in 9 months. So, please share your faves.

BFF has a Dyson that I've drooled over since she got it, but I just don't see the little husband letting me spend that much. Last time I purchased one, the limit was $250 and he was NOT happy about that. So, let's keep it reasonable people and links to your product would be helpful.

I have resorted to Tylenol PM and the History channel in hopes that I will pass out soon. I slept almost 15 hours since midnight Friday. Which is crazy even for me. Last weekend I slept almost 40 hours in 3 days. You'd think I'd feel refreshed, but goodness, by Wednesday afternoon all I could think about was a nap. Weird.

ANYWAY, send me some vacuum cleaners to look at please. I think I'll travel to the big city tomorrow afternoon and buy one so the sooner you can, the better. Thanks.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Lazy Saturday

Oldest still hasn't made it home from his BFF's house. Youngest is cleaning like a madman in hopes I'll talk his cousin into coming for a sleepover here tonight. I am not doing anything at all. Did you catch that? Nothing.

There are mounds of laundry in my bedroom. So much that I can hardly walk around. The vacuum cleaner is still broken so you can only imagine what the floors look like. I did manage to load the dishwasher last night... after three days of avoiding it. Youngest has actually put a rather large dent in the cleaning all by himself. Isn't that awesome? But, you know what? I am just not too concerned with all of this mess. It's a three day weekend for this banker. I'll deal with it all tomorrow.

Think I'm going to take a nap. Since we all know that 10 hours of sleep last night was certainly not enough! Maybe the youngest will snuggle up and take a nap with me. I'll clean tonight when I can't sleep. Yes. That's the plan.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

I AM such a storm chaser.

How is it that there is rain, sleet and snow covering the greater portion of the Southeast Region but our little corner of the map is managing to miss it once again?!?! Seriously, the entire state of Mississippi is covered on the radar with some sort of precipitation, but the Delta? I'm seeing stars outside at the moment.

SIDENOTE: I am happy to report that my dog returned home tonight. FINALLY! It's been a few days at least... his ribs were showing. But, the cat is still missing.

The little one's night went well, we watch "Air Buddies" and ate a whole lot of pizza. I loved it as much as he did. Just finished watching "Knocked Up" all by myself and it was worth the rental fee for sure. I laughed through the whole thing.

I suppose I should go to bed now.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Thank God this Week is Over

Not that I think next week's going to be much better, but you know... one can always hope. Several things to discuss tonight, so let me get straight to it.

I am trying my best to install a tracker into my blog to stalk all of my visitors and where they come from. Maybe one of you will read this and know what the hell I'm wanting and can give me instructions 1) where to find one of these and 2) how to put it into my blog. I am not very hip to this html stuff, but I'm willing to learn. See, I told ya'll I didn't know everything about computers.

This week I've been considering becoming Methodist. Apparently, this is against the unspoken Southern Baptist law because every single person that I've spoken with about it looks at me like I'm some kind of lunatic! Word is, if you're raised Baptist, the only way out is to marry out or die. WTF? Thoughts on this? All I know is that my Southern Baptist Church in my current little town just didn't cut it for me and I WAS INVOLVED... for a whole year. Even taught GA's every week... for a whole friggin year! I think it's time for a change. Suggestions? Please justify those...

Oldest son has been doing an awful lot of complaining for the past couple of weeks. Complaining about everything from dinner to toothpaste. So, last night, I laid down the law. From now on, if he complains, I'm taking whatever it is away. However, as I wrote this paragraph, I realized I cannot take the toothpaste away...crap... this will be continued when I figure out what to do now.

Anyway, in my pondering over his complaining, I decided that I must complain a lot because let's face it, they don't come out of the womb knowing how to bitch... or do they? I digress. The little husband was fussing about something tonight and I asked the youngest if he thought dad fussed a lot. His response was like a dagger in my heart... "Yes. (pause) But not as much as you mom." So, there it is...

That's all I've got for now. Oldest is having a sleepover at his best friend's house tonight and it has been declared "Youngest's Night" here and he's fussing at me to get off the computer. I rented "Knocked Up" though for me when youngest goes to bed. Hope it's good.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Wish List

I love lists. Anyone who knows me will attest to this. I LOVE to make lists and my boys do too because slowly but surely I am teaching them my OCD tendencies. Here's a list I've been dying to start so I'll be ready for Valentine's and my Birthday and Mother's Day and Christmas when they get here. I will edit to add as things come to mind.

1. Radar Detector
2. Starbuck's Franchise (Thanks Lajan!)
3. KitchenAid Artisan 5qt. Stand Mixer - I've never had one of these, but needed one desperately this Christmas. I want one in Onyx Black.
4. Large Home Office Paper Shredder
5. Wire and Plastic Wisk

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

I thought I was awesome.

For the second day in a row the little husband left way too early and I had to do the kid prep alone. However, I did not fare well at all this morning! The kids didn't make it to school until 9:30 and I didn't get to work until 9:45 a.m. Here's the story...

Woke up and decided to plug in a little ceramic heater while I took a shower because the temp dropped below 40 degrees last night and us Delta Belles simply cannot be expected to deal with cold temps well. It's just not natural.

Got out of the shower, woke up kids and started the drier because the oldest had clean pants in washer, but that was it. Went back to my bathroom to continue getting ready, turned on the hairdryer and I'll be damned if I didn't throw the breaker in the house. This is very detrimental to my "getting ready" efforts. In fact, they came to a screeching halt at that point.

Here's where I get a little embarrassed, but I don't ever have to fix the breaker because I have the little husband to do that. I didn't even know where that sucker was located. So, I begin trying to call the little husband and to no avail. He was temporarily UNavailable. Whatever. I fed the kids cold pop tarts and chocolate milk and waited for him to call back with instructions. Which he did after about 30 minutes had lapsed.

Waited for the pants to dry, got finished making myself beautiful and proceeded about my merry day. But, the nail in the coffin was when I went to make my cup of coffee, the lifeblood of my day, there were grounds in the weak ass mess I made! Crap. I almost called in at that point. But, I'm such a loyal employee that I did not.

That's it. We all made it to our destinations almost two hours late and I plan to have a talk with the little husband about how his presence in the morning is no longer optional. I simply cannot go it alone again.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Clearing the Mind

I sit here fighting the sleepless battle and dare to say that clearing my head of today's events should help. Here we go:

Little husband had to be at work at 5 this morning. Tax season is fast approaching and trying to get the books ready for audits is strenuous work. So, for the first time in quite a while, I had to get both boys ready all by myself. This is a feat to say the least considering 1) I'm NOT a morning person 2) Little Husband does all of the child prep in the morning minus the brushing hair and teeth supervision and he makes my coffee. (Nice and strong which is crucial to my day overall.) I am usually responsible for getting only myself ready on "normal" days. 3) We all know about my tardiness issues.

However, I must gloat that the boys arrived at school at 8:04 a.m. looking just as handsome as they do when their daddy takes care of it and I had coffee in hand on the race to the finish. We beat the tardy bell, so I say that's one less mark on the scorecard of motherhood.

Work was boring. Busy, but boring. Nothing eventful today to share. Just press releases, tax filings and watching the clock. SIDENOTE: If you live in the area, we are doing free income tax filing at the bank. Just give me a call and I'll set you up. No catch to it and you do not have to be one of our customers.

I read an article in the newspaper today about a 17 year old being arrested for stealing cookie money from a Girl Scout after the little girl had just taken her order and written her home address on the order form. The 17 yr. old snatched her money sack and ran... on her bike. WTF? The cops arrested the girl at her home later after getting the address from the order form and the Scout identified her as the thief. Dumbass.

We did leftover Taco Soup for dinner, which wasn't half bad. I watched Wife Swap and set the DVR to catch Supernanny so I could do baths and bed with the boys. Still haven't watched Supernanny all the way through, but those folks on Wife Swap were insane. It was a clown family and a hardcore discipline family swapping. Good TV, but I swear every time I watch it, I end up wanting to rant at the television, but it does help me feel like I'm an okay parent when I see the real F-ups out there.

Last and most important of all for the day... the oldest READ his first book tonight! The entire thing by himself! I helped with a couple of words, but out of 23 pages, I am impressed. It took a while to finish, but he was so excited to be doing it and his mom was too! It was "The Gingerbread Man" book. You know, the "Run, run as fast as you can. But, you can't catch me..."

Anyway, it was the first time he had ever made it cover to cover without getting anxious in between about trying to finish or me trying to help him sound out words. I didn't even try to help with sounds tonight, if I saw he couldn't pronounce it, I just told him the word and he kept rocking and rolling. Maybe I should have tried this approach sooner. Whatever. He's ready for 1st grade, there are no doubts in my mind now. I am so friggin proud of him.

Then I moved to laundry and my nightly ritual of cell phone with the best friend while smoking a whole bunch of cigarettes then blogging until tired and here we are. BFF told me the new header looked like pot leaves and upon examination, I do see the resemblance. But, the header is not staying. Chris is working on something bigger and better!

Goodnight.

Disclaimer: I do NOT smoke pot... anymore.... ever.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Thoughts Please

So we're in the process of creating a header for my new blog... courtesy of Chris, the design genius and computer guru. The green is the first we've tried. Your opinions?

Also, thanks to Rip for pointing out how we've created a new name... AFRo. The more I see it, the more I like it. Comments on this are encouraged as well as any suggestions on what you'd like to see in general.

Corn Dogs will not be allowed.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

FYI

Thought I'd be real smart tonight and iron my black pants for work tomorrow. Didn't want the starch specks to show, so I turned them inside out whilst ironing them. I was rather proud of myself for thinking ahead on that.

Turns out though, when you iron pleats into pants while they are turned inside out, the pleats sink in instead of coming out like they are supposed to. This was really funny to me. Could be because I'm exhausted, but thought it was certainly worthy of sharing with you guys.

By the way, in case you're not on the email list... Lands' End kicked off a three day winter sale tonight. It ends Friday. I love Lands End, you may not, but you can't fuss because I didn't pass the word along.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

My Daddy

Dear Friends,

January 5th marked one year since my dad returned home from receiving his stem cell transplant and being declared officially in remission. At the beginning of 2008, my parents returned to Vanderbilt to receive follow up test and he was almost declared cancer-free. All appeared to be great until they returned home and received news that a "hot spot" had shown up in his PetScan.

Daddy underwent a biopsy last week and we have been waiting on pins and needles for the results which came back today and they are NEGATIVE for cancer. We are so grateful that he has come this far and still has many good days ahead. It is truly a blessing for my family.

However, we are heavy-at-heart for another dear family friend. Mr. Tommy Chrestman has been my parents' neighbor since they were in elementary school. He was there for my daddy during our time of need; even though he was fighting his own battle with cancer. This week their family learned that his cancer (once in remission) has now returned with a vengeance. We are asking you now to direct all of the heartfelt prayers that were sent up for us to the same place for Mr. Tommy and Mrs. Martha, his wife and their children. They are on a difficult journey that we know all too well and they need the peace/strength that they can only get from God.

Thank you all for your love and support.

AFR

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Report Cards

It is 9:30 am and I am blogging. This is significant and please notice that kudos are not available, but that just means you can give an unlimited number of them.

Lajan brought up report cards and I thank you for addressing this issue because it had totally slipped my mind that both boys got theirs last week. All was well, mostly S's, but a couple of I's which stem from them being boys I am sure. But the very last box is absences and tardies. Do you know my kids had 26 tardies last semester? Crap.

You guys know that I had made my resolution in August to get my kids to school on time this year. Last spring they had 42 tardies... so I am doing a little better. I live 30 minutes out of town though and no matter how early we get up, we never seem to be able to leave the house before 7:40 a.m.

The teachers seem to have gotten used to my timeliness or lack thereof. They joke with me about it or it could be their smartass way of reminding me that it pisses them off. Who knows? I'm doing the best I can though and as long as I'm paying a friggin mortgage in private school costs, I better not hear any lip about our arrival time. I will try to do better though. {Guilt}

This morning we pulled up and the oldest said, "Wow mom. Are we the first ones here?" and the youngest replied, "No, we are never the first ones here. [with a Duh type attitude] We're always last." At which point, my heart broke. I've got to be more concientous about my time. I will do better.

As for the behavior thing. I hope that conference goes well. Not that you asked, but I must recommend observing for a few days before hand at different times on different days. We had a similar problem and for some reason, once I started observing, the bad behavior in question miraculously disappeared. My child never knew I was there and was never disciplined for bad behavior. Which left me to think... maybe it's the teacher. Just a suggestion and either way it gives you a better idea of exactly what's going on when you're not there to watch.

Edited to fix that crazy double space that jumped in on me and a couple of punctuation errors. I'm anal. Whatever.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Apathetic

I have no idea what happened to that kid. I was apathetic about the whole situation and after a long hard stare, I got into my car and left. I figured there were enough bystanders around to call the cops if someone really thought something was wrong. However, I must say here that I wrote an entire term paper for communications my freshman year of college on bystander apathy and the things that go terribly wrong as a result.

It was probably just some brat throwing a tantrum. Unfortunately, we have a lot of those in the Dirty D and they are not my problem. I already have two that keep me on my toes.

On another subject though.... the oldest came home from school with a large bump protruding from his forehead. It is slightly bruised and he says he took a tumble into playground equipment at school today. Does anyone know if I should be worried about a possible concussion? Also, his teacher and I will be having a discussion tomorrow about when to call the parents.

Concussion = time to call.

Last for the night... my vacuum cleaner is still broken. The Black and Decker Handheld is awesome, but certainly not meant to function as a floor cleaner for an all carpet household. Tomorrow's mission is to find a belt for my ancient piece or buy another one.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

See, I'm blogging.

Something that never ceases to amaze me is how just because I'm the youngest person that works in my place, I'm considered the computer guru. WTF? I'm not just stupid when it comes to the electronic stuff, but I'm also not just real savvy either. Yet, anytime there is a computer problem I get a call. I suppose it should make me feel important, but I don't need any self esteem boosters. I'm pretty content in my job security at the moment.

I had to go to a certain mass merchandiser today and buy a 5-port router for our data line. (Because we all know that I knew EXACTLY what I was looking for) As I'm walking out, I hear this kid screaming at the top of its lungs three parking rows over. A crowd was gathering to watch as the mom/granny/whatever was trying to calm the tot down.

So, she keeps trying to bribe the kid through the backseat window and the kid just screams, "You're not my mama!" To which, I cannot help but think, is this lady trying to kidnap this kid? Then I wonder, if so, what should I do? Certainly not stand here and stare like the rest of these people. Everyone just stood with their mouths on the pavement like they've never seen a kid scream before. Again, WTF?

So, I'm peeling potatoes now because I'm an awesome mom that makes homemade mashed potatoes and roast for dinner.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Blogging. It's My Favorite Pastime.

However, I've stumbled into problems with access on my current blog. So, this is my solution... I'm moving. I just hope I can figure all of this computer savvy crap out so that I can make this site look halfway decent. Maybe my fave blogger Ashley will stop in and give me some tips.

To all of my current subscribers: I am so sorry that I had to move, but the powers that be will not allow me to look at my blog during the day and that is just too much for me. I miss you guys too much. So, please don't abandon me... help me. The powers have not blocked this one.

I need a name for my site. Landry inspired the current one because I think that she thinks that I don't know what my effin initials should be. And all of the cool names are taken. So, any suggestions on this would be much appreciated. Don't really know what else I need, but you know that I will keep you posted.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.