For the Mister

Even when you're an ass, I'm thinking of ways to make you happy. Yes. I can think about multiple things at a time these days which enables me to hate you/love you at the same time. Yes. I think this is normal. After all, I don't believe anyone can make you angrier than the person that you love the most. Right?

Anyway, it just so happened that just before our knock-down drag-out tiff the other night, I had been reading my therapeutic book for crazies and it suggested that I find something positive in someone I love and focus on it. As you already know, I have started my, "reasons I love my husband" list. I always wondered why Mama Kat had a list like this, but it makes total sense now. It does give me something to focus on when I'm so mad that I could spit at you in true Delta Belle fashion.

Here's my start:

1. I love that you are so dedicated and passionate about things that our boys enjoy, such as soccer.
2. I love that you are my khaki pants boy. I always said that I would marry one and you made that dream come true.
3. I love that after 12 years I can still fill up an entire trash can with the garbage that you fill up your car with. It's disgusting, but SO you.

I really do heart you. MOST of the time.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Patience

It's something that I've always struggled with.

My lack of patience is part of why I quit my job 3 weeks ago. I wanted better and I wanted it right then. That fact, coupled with the misery that I felt going into work and leaving my children all day created the perfect storm that got me to were I am now...

Unemployed... but happy as ever.

I know that immediate gratification is NEVER a reality, but I can't help but dream. In my dream world, my husband would've already passed his CPA exam and would have his career well established... enough so that I could pursue my desire to be a stay at home mom and have have 2 more children. We would own a home in an area that we'd never have to worry about property values falling drastically every year.

That's all I want really. That's the epitome of my dream world and all of the wants that after 9 years of marriage, I'm wondering if we'll ever make those dreams come to fruition. Then I consider patience. Ugh. It's so hard.

So, I'm trying this new "leap of faith" thing. Since leaving my job, I've found a new peace and sense of serenity in my life and it has allowed me to relax and mostly let go of my impatience with my "wanners."

I truly believe that good things are going to happen for me and my little family in the future. But, I've decided to stop focusing so hard on trying to make those things happen. Instead, I'm focused on today and what I can do to make TODAY a success for myself and my family.

Wish me luck.

© 2009 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Happy 8th Birthday Nate!

My dear sweet oldest child, Nate. Today is your 8th birthday and what can I say about the things you've learned this year? There's so much! It was a year of firsts... First grade, first tooth, first trip out of the state/country, first camp experience, first crush and the list goes on and on. You've also developed a bit of a rebellious streak that I can only work with because I know it was me who gave it to you. We're going to work that out though.

In November of last year you created the Waventure (weekend + adventure) for us. You showed me that a 5 hour drive with two kids could be nothing short of interesting. I learned a lot in that time. It was a great idea. That photo up there is of you, "CuzII" (BFF's son) and your little brother is on the right.... it was taken on the last day of the Waventure.

This was the beginning of the summer with you and your other cousin, "KMart" and little brother freezing on the pier because no matter what I said about the water wasn't warm enough yet to swim in, you were determined that Memorial Day weekend you were getting in!

This is one of my favorites of you from this year. It was taken in April on the streets of Progresso, Mexico where we learned that you are a savvy traveler and can haggle just as well as any of us. (You bought a $5 black onyx dolphin for $3. I was so proud!) You enjoyed every sight there was there and haven't stopped talking about the next trip. I love that you're a traveler. I am too.

That's your little brother poking his eyes over the chair at the camera. He was totally disrupting you and Syd's alone time on the ship. Sydney was your first ever crush. You told us that she was so hot that she could be from France or something. LOL. It was cute to watch. She even pinned you with her Carnival pin before we left the ship for good. She really was a cute little girl, I am so grateful that she lives about 8 hours from us because that is trouble waiting to happen.

One last picture from the Mayan ruins in Mexico. You climbed to the top and found a window to sit and meditate in. It was hilarious. But, again, you are an awesome traveler, not afraid to soak yourself in the local culture. I'm so proud of you for so many different things.... these are only a few that are on my list of reasons that you steal my heart over and over again. I'm so proud of the little man that you are growing into and I love you so very much. Happy 8th Birthday to you!

© 2009 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Crackbook Etiquette

This is kissy face:

*Edit* Posting without one because I've deleted them all and cannot locate one to post, but will return and indulge you all when one surfaces. Read on anyway.*

I hate kissy face pictures. HATE them. But, alas, I am stupid and have allowed numerous people to take kissy face pictures of me throughout my *insert sarcasm* fabulous night life over the past year. I hate kissy face pictures so much that at some point, I decided that I was a superstar and needed to go out "incognito" from now on, so that people would not take pictures of me because they wouldn't know who I was. Good logic, right? Maybe.

It resulted in this:

A little better, but certainly not stellar and did you notice my lean toward the kissy face despite my incognito attire?!? WTF is wrong with me? I definitely prefer the ghetto fabulous look to the kissy face/*one too many* pictures. So... now that you've seen what I'm working with, let me pose this question:

If you took either of these pictures of me and posted them on your Crackbook the following Monday morning for everyone to see, do you think it's prudent that I request that you remove them at any point in the future? This subject has caused me some pretty petty controversy in the last few months.... that we are so over now.

Evidently, it's my method of requesting the removal. But, kissy face pictures make my skin crawl and usually I do come with a comment like, "You gotta take this down. Seriously." I can't say that I normally ask for the picture to be removed because the people who post them are supposed to be my friends and not be all pissy because I tell them that I don't like a picture of myself and want it to go away. It's not like I'm saying, "Hey! This picture of you looks like shit, take it down.

Seriously. If I told you to remove it in a manner such as that stated above, would it piss you off? What is proper Crackbook etiquette here?

© 2009 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Papa 'Fro: July 31, 1957 - June 16, 2009

It kind of sucks when your daddy dies 4 days before Father's Day. You can read further on this here... but I cannot discuss it again. Having to move through the motions of the last week have been painful enough... I kind of feel like tomorrow just adds insult to injury. But, that's the only pity party I'm going to have for now because I told myself I could only wallow for 3 days about it, then I have to move forward.

Here's my moving forward... sort of. In my weird way... but I'm not sobbing so it's gotta be working right?

I want to share my adventure from earlier tonight: We buried daddy yesterday and evidently after they cover him up with dirt, they put all of the flowers that people send all over the top of the grave. (This is the first death I've ever experienced... give me a break. Okay?) Anyway, earlier tonight, my mother wanted all of us to go and put up an iron cross that one of daddy's friends had made and given to us on the grave because the headstone is not ready yet.

Alright, for those of you who have never experienced a "Dirty D" summer, let me just tell you it was well over 95 degrees today with a heat index into the triple digits and everyone knows that direct sunlight + plants just laying around = dead plants. So, when we left my mom mentioned that it made her sick to see all those dead flowers lying on his grave. This was around 6:45 p.m.

I had no idea that cemetery's closed...again, never done this before huh-lo... and I was never one of those who just enjoyed hanging out at night in the cemetery. You know? As a matter of fact, tonight at 8:30 p.m. I was racing sunlight to go get rid of the dead flowers for my mother because there was no way I was doing it after dark.

Thankfully, as I was pulling out of my mom's driveway, my little brother pulled up and asked where I was going, when I told him, he and my future sister in law volunteered to come help.We arrived at the cemetery around 8:45 p.m. and low and behold, the gates were all locked. But, my mother said those flowers made her sick to see and they had to go. So, in true AFRo style, I pulled my car all the way up to where it touched the gate and jumped the fence from the hood. In. Flip. Flops.

Then it dawned on me that I was so genius that I hadn't thought of how I'd get back out. Whatever.

Poor future sister in law hasn't done a lot of delta summers so she was unprepared for the swarm of mosquitoes that attempted to cart us off during our disposal of the flowers... I was dressed in a long sleeve shirt and came prepared with a pair of daddy's hospital socks because every delta belle knows that if you don't have the delta perfume (OFF with deet) you better not show skin. That poor girl is probably eaten alive. Bless her heart.

Anyway, I managed to make it back over the fence by boosting myself off the chain that had it locked and landing back on the hood of my car just as I broke a flip flop. But, we did it. (Just like on Dora... you know.... we did it... we did it... we did it... hooray!) I think it might have been a tad bit illegal, but it was for the greater good. Right?

Daddy would've been proud or at least amused with us. He did teach me that sometimes rules are made to be broken... but only if the end justifies the means and I believe this one did.

Happy Father's Day to you all. I hope that you enjoy every minute of it... and I'm going to try to.... real hard.

ETA: I am working in serious OCD fashion to restore the formatting to it's normal state with paragraph breaks. Stupid blogger gets all freaked out about pictures. So, please excuse until I have it fixed.

Textiquette: Lesson 5589

On holidays, it is very thoughtful of you to send friends a "Happy Mother's Day" text. (Example) However, when you are up at 6:00 a.m. getting ready for church on Sunday morning and sending these wonderful words of love. Please consider that the recipient may, in fact, still be sleeping.

Said recipient, may or may not be nursing a tequila hangover from the bachelorette party that took place the Saturday night before. Therefore, a 6 a.m. text about Mother's Day can be recepted with hatred rather than the love it was meant to convey. So, think about your audience when sending mass texts. Then don't do it.

I'm just sayin...

© 2009 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Out of the Mouth of Babes

Mama and Papa 'Fro will be coming home tomorrow. After his 3 year battle with cancer, we have run out of options and we have all agreed that we would rather have him home for his remaining time on earth than lying in a hospital for them to do research on him. I cannot even put into words how hard this is for my family and I have no idea what the remaining weeks will hold for any of us, but I wanted to post this conversation for posterity because it reminds me that sometimes our children know more than we do.

(Saturday Morning - May 9th - Over Coffee on the Back Porch)

AFRo: Papa & Maemae are coming home.

Oldest: Is Papa going to make it Mom?

AFRo: We don't know honey. But, it doesn't look like it.

Oldest: Why? I been prayin and prayin and why is it not working?

AFRo: Well baby, sometimes when God decides that he needs a new angel, there's nothing we can do to stop him from taking one of us. I think God really really wants Papa to be his new angel, so we have to let him go to heaven and we'll have our very own special angel up there.

Oldest: (matter-of-factly) Well Mom, miracles happen every hundred years and we can just start praying for a miracle. God might give us one.

This is just a piece of the conversation that was had that morning. Of course there were more questions... which included him asking my mom the next night if Papa could take a cell phone to heaven so we could still talk to him. As heart wrenching as it is, I am so proud of him for reminding me that even when your hope is gone, or so it seems, that we should never stop believing in miracles.

God I pray that you give us all the strength and wisdom to do whatever it is that you have in store for us, because from where I'm standing it looks like it is going to be too hard. Please help me to have the right words when I need them and to just stay quiet when I don't. Please give us all comfort because today... it hurts.

In Jesus name. Amen.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Airing Dirty Laundry

Dude.

It's bad.

No matter how hard I work, no matter how many mountains I conquer, the laundry in my house is friggin overwhelming. It never ends. I watched an episode of the Duggars one night on TLC and Michelle was talking about how she just focused on teaching her children how to stay on top of dishes and laundry... as long as they got that mastered, they could handle everything else. This is probably one of the only things that she has ever said that I completely agree with.**

I have a really bad OCD thing with laundry though. I can't explain it in detail for this post because it really deserves its own. Which I will try to get to soon... because I know you all want to be schooled by a laundry specialist.

Back to my point: I have this thing about clean laundry having to be folded straight out of the dryer. I think this comes from growing up with a "laundry couch." Did any of you have one of those? You know, the one couch in the house that is the catch all for the clean laundry and it all gets folded once the couch is so covered that you just can't tell it's a couch anymore? And folding became a family event because there was no possible way that one person could do it without being swallowed whole by all those clean clothes.

Then there's that dang sock basket... Are you with me? BFF and I were discussing this last weekend at her house. I swear... the sock basket is the epitome of why I grew up being late everywhere I go; because no matter what the occassion, I had to search through every single sock in the house to find a matching pair and there were 5 people in my house... so you can imagine. But with that many socks and a laundry couch that was already full, we were just grateful all of the socks were in one place and we didn't have to search through mountains of other clothes to find a set. Ah... childhood memories. Aren't they great?

I also do not like for other people to touch my clean laundry. The only exception to this is towels and I let the minis fold those. Everything else must be folded by me. Mr. AFRo does his part by hanging all of the stuff that goes into the closets, but that's about all I'll allow unless I'm just dead tired then I'll ignore the fact that he's folding and shut myself in my room so that I don't see. Crazy? I know. I have friggin issues okay?

As a result of all of the things described above, I end up with a bedroom floor that looks like this on occassion:

I know. It's shameful, but it does get done eventually. Mr. AFRo is going to be so pissed that I posted this picture. He watched me take it and was adomant that I should not post it for people to see, but seriously, I cannot be the only working mother on the planet with laundry issues. So, we'll just cross our fingers that Mr. AFRo doesn't notice the picture. K? Sounds like a plan.

Now... what should I do? I don't want the run of the mill suggestions on this. I know that it would be prudent to do one load a night to keep up, but in reality, I am a working mother with two kids that have to be carted around a lot, so that's really not realistic. Please take my OCD nature into consideration when making suggestions. But, I would like to know what works for you.

**Disclaimer**: I still think Michelle Duggar is completely insane for having that many children.

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

Starbucks vs McDonalds

I heard this morning that these two are about to launch ad campaigns that are targeted at competing with one another. Does this make sense to anyone? I don't think that either target the same individual as the other. Can we say waste of advertising dollars?

I consider myself to be the average American woman, which is exactly who these two should be targeting for coffee sales because we represent the majority of the household decision making on this particular matter. So, when I want to treat myself to a Double Ristretto Venti Nonfat Organic Chocolate Brownie Frappuccino extra hot with foam and whipped cream upside down, double blended.... you think I'm going to hit up Mickey D's for it? No ma'am. That would be ignorant.

There is no comparison here. Sure, I would definitely not feel guilty getting a cup of regular coffee from McDonalds every single day because it is cheap and granted, the way things have been in the economy, I look for ways to cut costs just like the next person... and I can get 4 cups of McDonalds coffee for the price of one Starbucks blend. But, they are just not the same animal and whomever came up with the idea for a fast food place to go head to head with a coffee giant deserves to be demoted at the very least.

That's it for today. Thoughts?

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.

MEXICO IS CLOSED

It is terribly sad to say, but it is ridiculously true... Mexico is closed.

Mr. AFRo and I took the minis on a cruise last week for 5 days and our two stops were in Mexico. The picture above is one Mr. AFRo took of our beach in Cozumel. It was absolutely gorgeous there!

With all of the Swine Flu crap swirling I can't help but think of all the wonderful Mexican people that we met in Progreso & Cozumel. Like the old woman who taught my little one to blow on a conch shell properly to make it sound like a horn. She couldn't speak English at all, but she was so gentle with him and patient. It was an experience that I know he will never forget.

Yes, we mingled with the locals. No, we didn't drink the water nor did we bring back any diseases. But, when traveling, I fully believe in the saying, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." How else can you experience different cultures and truly get the most out of your trip? I just hate that this swine flu thing has happened because it will inevitably be devastating to an already unsteady economy in Mexico. It's just one horrible thing after another down there. I can't help but feel sad for them.

I'm just rambling. Thought I'd rub it in that I had a fabulous vacation, but I started this post an hour ago and the writing bug has passed so I will sign off, but remember our neighbors to the south in your prayers... hopefully they'll catch a break soon.

ETA: Oh no! It's my first post in over a month and this whacked out formatting paired with my OCD nature is going to make me delete. Seriously. Ugh.

ETAA: AHHHHHHH... I need paragraphs!!!

© 2008 AFRo. All Rights Reserved.